Even though it is suppose to be the beginning of the dry season, we still have occasional downpours of rain at the most inopportune times.
This bit of humor was related to me by some of the new volunteers, whose names will remain undisclosed unless of course the “price is right”.
Right price in this case, the cost of the new underwear, voice recorder, fly line, and all the booze I’m going to have to supply for this favor of having these items brought in with a friend.
Picture this if you will, it’s Saturday night, in the sleepy little border town, the only real excitement lies in going to one of the two Disco’s for a little dancing, a lot of drinking, and what ever else may happen along. In this case our fearless volunteers, being equal opportunity partyers, start at one disco and finish at the other. Problem is that on the way to the second party place it starts to rain, no problem we’ll just wade through the dust that has quickly turned to red mud, never mind that we are going to look like all the rest of the wet dogs in town. First mishap is the fact that for some reason they don’t see the ditch, which by this time is flowing with all manners of debris not the least of which may or may not be drainage from the local relief station. (Polite word for outhouse) A plaintive cry from one standing knee deep in Gooooop, Sh…., or what ever the hell was in that ditch, “oh my God, I’ve lost my slipper!!!!” Sorry folks this ain’t Cinderella and the Slipper wasn’t glass, it’s a well worn Havaina flip flop. Now any sane person would have just chalked this up to shit happens, and left the mate to the slipper and gone on dancing the night away barefoot. Ohhhh Nooooo, “ that slipper is almost new, the between your toes thingy only come loose once in a while, and the sole still keeps rocks at bay”. To the rescue, not a knight in shining armor, but the least likely of this group to put her hands in a place she has absolutely no idea as to what may be within. This is the one who sees a bug and goes totally ballistic, gets nauseous if the dog poops on the floor, on and on. Is this true friendship or what? Sorry to say I’m not sure if I would qualify. Oh well, the slipper is recovered, goop washed off in the rain, and on to the dance they go. Now as mentioned the only relief stations at this particular disco are outdoors and questionable to say the least,and not well lite, if at all. Now our hapless Cinderella needs to answer a simple call of nature, stumbling about in the dark, the rain has stopped, but the mud makes finding ones way around even more treacherous. Finally the relief station is located, excess liquid is drained off, but oops seems that there was another call that did not make its self known till the last minute. Now our hapless Cinderella is rummaging through her purse looking for a tissue, a piece of paper, hell anything. Would you believe a $20 bill? (Note $20 notes of Guyana are equal to maybe 10 cents US, but you have to admit a bill beats the hell outta of dime any day of the week in this situation.)
Moral to this story is always carry extra G$20 when out partying, go barefooted to toughen soles of feet, I may be with you next time.
Now on a lighter note, recently a friend who has several wild animals who have come to her in various stages of distress, told me about a mishap with one of the Savannah deer. Seems poor ole “Johnny the deer” had a mishap with the enclosure fence. There was a slight tear close to his eye, that needed a couple of stitches. Johnny was quickly given a couple of tranquillizers rolled in a slice of bread with the hope he could be handled with the least amount of stress. The Vet arrives 30-40 minutes after the medication is given, but good ole Johnny doesn’t seem to be showing any effects of the Valium. Two hours after the medication, Johnny is still walking around, then the question is ask; “would the fact that Johnny is a ruminant (having more than one stomach) 
make any difference, maybe it takes a while for the meds to get to the second stomach?” Well of course, so a local was administered, two stitches applied, and good ole “Johnny” is as good as new.
Good as new that day, the next day Johnny was staggering around like a drunk sailor, and reported to be asking for some more of that “Crazy Bread” Precautions are reportedly being taken to keep Johnny from bragging about his new stitches, and the crazy bread to the other residents of this mini zoo.
Shefishs Nov. 2007
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