Newbies and Office doors

Ah yes, it’s September again, the rain has finally starting to ease off a bit, and of course the influx of whities or as they prefer to be called, Volunteers, is in full swing. These range from middle age Peace Corps folks to young, gee whiz I’m just out of high school, away from mom and dad on my own in the middle of no where, lets go wild, kids. But lest someone gets the wrong idea, Volunteers are always welcome, schools being the main beneficiaries. Even though all these newbie’s have been more or less briefed before they get to the Rupununi, most are still not ready for the shock of seeing this much wide open spaces, and certainly not the hordes of kabora flies, and other biting critters who are still hanging around just waiting to greet all this fresh white meat.

Confusion reigns supreme as usual, off the bus from Georgetown, which has be a 17hr. ride, step 6 snow white kids from the UK, all of whom look as though they have been raised in a dark cellar and all wearing shorts. The welcoming committee, Kabora flies, stray dogs, and of course yours truly, see looks of total horror, they ask where taxi or lorry stand is located as they will need a ride to the school. Only after the roars of hysterical laughter from other locals dies down are they advised that transportation will be arranged “just now” But wait, there are 6 of you folks? “ Oh yes, two of will be here, two of us are going to Aishelton, and two to Shulinab will they take us in today?” more roars of laughter from on lookers “well, lets just say you may be delayed a few days here in Lethem, mainly because the river is still so high that Aishelton is more or less cut off, and you will have to wait for a truck, tractor, mule train, bullock cart, bicycle, or something headed south. Mean while they will take you to the volunteer’s quarters here, and all six of you can have a keen little party in housing that is crowded for two people.

The following day, off the plane steps two more new World Teach volunteers, again the same look of total bewilderment, but not as bad as the 6 from the day before, these are a little more worldly, or older if you will. Same greeting committee same questions about transportation, but then it is learned that the person responsible for greeting and transport is out of town. Transportation is arranged via a pickup heading south fully loaded, so they are promptly loaded into the back of the pickup, which proceeds to take off dumping one of the passengers very unceremoniously, with out injury onto the road. Truck reloaded and off they go followed by hungry mobs of kabora flies.

The next few days gives me an opportunity to visit with not only these latest two, but also a third who arrives the next day. I am happy to report that despite all the best preparation that was done to their housing there were still a few minor things that were over looked, not the least of which was the fact that the plumbing was not in good working order. We wont mention the fact that all the light bulbs in the house were burned out, water coming out of the pipes that looks like dishwater, and the fact that the locks are questionable. The main complaint seems to be the lack of a refrigerator. Whaaa you really expected to have ice in your drinks?

Well here is the solution, what you will have to do is go to the local government official with this sad story, not the fact that you would like to have perishable food stuff stored properly, but that one of you has a chronic health problem.

“What, we can’t tell them one of us is a diabetic; they could check our records, bla-bla-bla.

Have you ever thought about chronic yeast infection, and the need to keep the medication refrigerated? Author quietly rolls on the floor laughing.

Finally like a true woman of the 21^st century one steps forward, “if that’s what it takes to have ice for my martini, Hey, so I gotta a problem”

These developments will be followed closely you can be sure.

In the mean time out at the ranch, brush has been cut, just low enough to ensure that there are plenty of stubs that one ole gal can either trip over or step on creating a blue hue to the air, and threats to kill the idiots who did the job. Only after one of these episodes do I take a good look at the “office”, which sits about 75 yards away from the house. This the distance ensures the office manager gets her daily exercise and learns proper control of vital functions while trying to get to the office. It is noted that the door of said office is in a very bad state of disrepair, disrepair meaning that the damn thing swings in the breeze, is falling apart and besides that it’s made of zinc and makes a terrible noise at night as it bangs against the rocks sit in place to keep it open or slams shut making an even louder noise. So the decision is made to replace the door with a more pleasing door, one which will allow not only the claustrophobic office manager to see out but will also allow passersby to see that the office is in use. Local craftsman is engaged, measurements are taken, “are you sure you only want the door 18” from the floor and 20? In from the top?” yes, yes, that’s what I want. “Well I have to tell you madam, this is the strangest door I have ever been ask to make!” Well just make the dang thing as long as it’s not of zinc, and won’t bang at night that’s what I want. 3 days later new door and frame arrives and is installed. But now the office looks even more shall we say un-ecstatic because of the zinc sheets on the roof being held in place by rocks, bricks, and a layer of dust. Next thing is to find someone who is willing to cut some leaves, and replace the zinc with proper thatch roof. This may be a continuing story, but I’m working on it. In the mean time the new whities have settled in, at least 2 of those heading south have been sent on their merry way, while the other 2 are still wandering around, feeding kabora flies.

It occurs to me while thinking about the new remodeling job on the office, that an old complaint keeps rearing it’s ugly head. Complaint being the fact that we women have been grossly short changed in the plumbing department. Not only are we required to find a lady like way to excuse our selves when nature calls, nature invariably calls at the most inopportune times. When have you ever seen a tree when out in the woods for a stroll that would hide the fact that you have to all but disrobe to answer a call? When was there a convenient private place that a woman could step up to and not have it known by the world, what and why? The rest of the world, thinks nothing of the fact that a man stops his car to kick his tires, check out the local fauna at the side of the road, or in some places just steps away from where ever he happens to be drinking and turns his back to his buddies and answers that call. I must say that there are times that even here in all these wide open spaces, in the dark of night it can be a real challenge. (remember no indoor plumbing) late at night after consuming numerous cups of coffee before bed, or maybe it was numerous beers, but that is beside the point, here in the rainy season, wood doors do tend to swell, there by making the bolt on said door almost impossible to disengage, you get the picture…..well it ain’t fair, especially since there are several open windows with no screens that would have worked nicely if the plumbing had been right.

The Spin continues,

Shefishs Sept 2007

continues.

Sept. 2007