WWW. comes to the Rupununi

AND THE GODS TAKE A DUMP

At last after a 6 week delay in obtaining the long awaited broad band satellite dish, the café repainted, rewired, new desk topped with two brand new and one upgraded (to the speed of light) computers, the big day has arrived.

Grand opening of the Rupununi Cyber Café, Sunday morning dawns bright, sunshiny and full of hope. In the front office of the café proudly awaits a toolbox, spool of cable, and a spanking new satellite dish. And the Gods smiled? Or was it like a newborn smile, which grandparents are quick to tell proud parent’s is only gas?

Satellite techs arrive; inform us that one will start the installation of the dish while the other will install the extra network card needed for the main computer.

Hiccup…#1 son brought card down from Georgetown….ooops! He has not returned from a night out with friends. “No problem, we’ll both work on the dish installation and will install the network card when we are ready to hook up the cables”.

Hiccup & Belch #1 son returns only to advise his mother, that he has forgotten to bring the network card, it is still in Georgetown. Belch resembles Mt. st. Helens or Kilauea in full eruption. Combine one 17yr. ole male in full rut, one case of PMS in the form of an irate parent (his mother) and the ensuing firestorm covers all in the immediate vicinity with ash and fall out. With the settling of ash and the cooling of the embers a solution is found. Network card will be put on the early morning flight from Georgetown Monday and should arrive here mid-day?

Rumbling Belch Rumors are bouncing around this sleepy border town that the lack of electricity on Saturday was caused by a slight problem with the hydro-electric plant at Moco Moco. As the day progresses with continued blackout of electric, the news of a major disaster with the hydro becomes a reality. They are saying that the plant could be shut down for as much as 2 years while repairs are made, this is 2 years Guyana time, which could equal 20 years real time. Oh well, at least the town still has OLD FAITHFUL standby generator, to say nothing of Mello Enterprises OLD GLORY generator in back, which is promptly put into operation.

LOUD FARTS Cables have been run from the satellite dish into the building, the dish is lined up with the satellite in cyber space, cables attached to the new faster than light computer, computer plugged into voltage regulator, satellite receiver plugged into voltage regulator, voltage regulator plugged into the wall outlet fart & puff of smoke voltage regulator blows a fuse. Everything unplugged, fuse replaced voltage regulator reintroduced to outlet, FART second fuse blown. After the third fuse blows, it is decided to use the old stand by VR, only now the new computer does not seem to want to start or for that matter show any sign of life.

Much discussion, followed by sniffing the back of said computer

WET FART power box in the new ~~~FASTER THAN LIGHT~~~computer is burnt out. ½ bottle of antacid administered to all involved and hook up the next new computer.

EUREKA We’re connected to the W.W.W., but by now its dark and our generator is running low on fuel. Well it’s been a long day, so we shut down everything and in the morning when the town generator is running we will use their fuel.

MONDAY MORNING DUMP !

7 AM. We learn the town generator lapsed into a coma overnight and is not expected to regain consciousness; our own power plant is producing fluctuating current. In our frantic search for a UPS to guard against more burn out we learn of a unit available to borrow after 5pm.

5:30 pm. Borrowed UPS plugged in and refuses to work

NO WAY – NO HOW

NO TOILET PAPER

Suggestions and ideas as to how to remedy the apparent lack of reliable energy have in a class of their own.

A kid on a bicycle type contraption, peddling like mad to make other wheels and gears turn until there is a spark of electricity. Then you just have to find a way to keep him peddling long and fast enough to power 3 faster than light computers.

Harness the energy from eruptions, which occur with having teenagers around.

Rainwater, turns a wheel, which turns a wheel, etc, etc.

Battery power, question is can the Chinese supply enough Rocket Batteries. (el-cheepo flashlight batteries, guaranteed to last just long enough to get you lost before they leave you in the dark)

Rest assured a way will be found, in the mean time THE GODS LAUGH.

1 week later>>>>>>Rupununi Cyber Café is up and running, on generators and having a new high-powered battery system installed…..the saga will be continued.

1 year later. Hydro-electric plant still down but Old Faithful is still limping along so Lethem has electricity from 7am in the morning till 1pm. in the afternoon, at which time backup battery power is used to keep at least 1 computer on line. 6pm. The electricity returns till 1am. And Rupununi cyber is reconnected to the world.