MONDAY MORNING QUARTERBACK or NFL RUPUNUNI STYLE

Before I start this tale let me clarify a few terms used, and explain what little I know about North American Football.

Football—game similar to English Rugby with a few slight twists.

NFL—National Football League

Pig Skin—common North American name for a football

(egg shaped ball full of air, usually made from pig hide.)

Quarterback—small fellow who tries to carry or throw the ball away before being sacked.

Wide receiver, or running back----Medium fellows who after having the ball thrown into their hands tries to out run the linebackers, tackles, end defensive ends, before being tackled.

Sacked or tackled—when the BIG guys all gang up on the small and med guys and try maim, injure, or otherwise grind them into the ground

Linebacker, tackle, and defensive end---BIG GUYS weighing at least 350+ pounds who try to sack the quarter back, tackle, or otherwise stop the guy with the pig skin.

Touch Down (Score)--- if either the quarterback, running back, or receiver manages to out run the big guys and while carrying the pig skin under their arm, after which they throw down the pig and do a dance.

Armchair Quarter Back---North American Male who spends Sunday afternoons in front of the TV with a cooler of beer and enough snacks to feed an army watching other men fight over a pig skin, while ignoring lamenting wives and children.

Monday Morning Quarterback….Armchair quarterback in the local bar Monday evening telling how he would have played the game.

Let the games begin:

As I was walking into town this past Monday morning, I first heard the sound.

1 small pig squealing and boys laughing, Ah Ha! A football game in progress no doubt. Coming down the road toward me was 5 little boys 3 of which had one hapless suckling pig in tow. One on the hind legs, one on the front legs and one trying to hold the mouth shut to quiet the noise. The remaining boys were pushing a dilapidated baby stroller. Before they got to me they decided to put said pig in stroller, this took 4 boys to hold the pig down and one to push. When I ask what was going to be the fate of said piglet,

“Bar B Q “ was the chorused reply. OK Score 1 for the home team.

Now on to the playing field which was a fenced yard, (3 strands of barbwire) the main game was still in progress.

Seems this Pig Skin had no need of the quarter back, pig skin had all four feet on the ground and was putting moves on the line backers, and tackles which would have made any NFL running back proud. Tacklers consisted of 3 grown men, 6 boys, 4 dogs, and 2 chickens.

Being a great fan of American football I had to stop and watch, and cheer on the underdog, or pig in this case. The moves that Pig put on his pursuers was a sight to see. He left both men and boys grasping thin air, even the dogs couldn’t keep up. Several laps around the playing field, and it looked as though the pigskin might score a complete get-away.

But such was not to be the case, under the bottom strand of wire squirts the pig and across the road into the high bush, with the home team in hot pursuit, to his credit one pursuer cleared the fence in a single bound. Even though the pig was out of bounds in the bush he was no match for the gang who followed.

For alas poor pigskin was tackled by the mob and quickly brought to bay, soon to be Bar B Q.

As I left I noticed the chickens all cheering, I guess they figured at least today they wouldn’t be on the BBQ menu.

Monday Morning Quarterback advise, stay in bounds. Sooner or later your sure to wear out the other team.

Shefishs